Oh wow, I just realized if I want to keep up my impressive once every other month posting average I’d better get to it. Of course it doesn’t hurt that I spent last weekend back in Tulsa, which judging by my post count, is infinitely more entertaining than St. Louis. (Two rim shots in the first two sentences, I’m on FIRE!)
Anyway, over the weekend, the wife and I stopped into the human circus (better known as Wal-Mart) to pick up a few odds and ends. True to form, good ole’ WallyWord delivered. As we were shopping a group of goth kids caught my attention, specifically one rather large girl. I’m not quite sure how to convey her size to you but if you think of Godzilla, you’ve got a good idea of what this broad ate for lunch. And really, she didn’t quite catch my attention so much as it got sucked into her gravitational pull. If that weren’t bad enough she was wearing a plaid skirt and I think was trying to pull off the whole dark scary school girl look or something. Anyway as I’m standing in line at the electronics counter waiting for the cashier to explain the intricacies of “swiping your credit card” to a woman who had done more drugs than the entire country of Columbia, I overhear the goth group’s conversation from the aisle next to me.
“No F&*#&in way! They’ve got a Wii!!”
inaudible mumble… I’m not sure whether this kid didn’t move his lips when he talked or the sound waves had a hard time getting around the small planet he was talking to. Either way he didn’t contribute much to the conversation.
“I know! Damnit, I don’t get paid til next week!”
more mumbles
“No they don’t have layaway… not for electronics” I have no idea whether that’s actually true or not but I couldn’t help myself after hearing that gem. I set the cd down on the counter (Bob Marley’s mom was still trying to figure out how to pay in front of me) and whipped around the corner to the aisle with the Wii. Now, I need to fill you in on two important points before I go on. Number one, we already have a Wii. Number two, I had absolutely no intention of buying another one.
“Did you say they have a Wii?!?”
“Uh… yeah… but.. um” It was like a pair of headlights had just hit a dear in the middle of the road. She was confused, scared, and petrified all at the same time.
“Where? Are you gonna buy it?” I was sure I had over sold this but apparently sarcasm wasn’t this girl’s strong suit.
“Um… yeah. Yeah, we’re gettin it.” At this point the mumbler really didn’t help his friend because he was looking at her like she had just said she weighed 95 lbs. Struggling to keep a straight face I acted like I believed it.
“Oh man… that sucks! Are you sure? I mean cause if not, I’ll get it.”
“No, we’re getting it. Sorry”
“Crap…ok…”
At this point I dropped my head and shuffled my way back around to the counter. I wasn’t gone more than 15 seconds before I hear “No! You stay with it. STAY WITH IT… I’ll be back”
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Reminds me of the godzilla being that I saw riding down I-44 on the back of her man’s motorcycle.
Did I mention that she had decided that it was a good idea to not wear anything that day?
I had to complete my trip from memory because I was blind for awhile after that.
That’s to funny, reminds me of an old friend that would love to touchier people by giving them direction in the apposite direction they needed to go. LOL
On a side note you would get a better RIO if you let people post without registering, and Akismet will take care of 99% of spam.